Are you ready for the ride?

Did you ever wonder why the groom stands at the front and the bride does all the walking? Aside from medieval tradition that the father hands out his daughter's hands to the lucky bloke. Walking down the aisle means that you finally have your man and the decision is all yours to finally take him. Pre-empting a dramatic moment as a Mariah Carey video as she turned away from Eric Roberts to run off with Wentworth Miller while singing 'We Belong Together'. Just like your friendship bracelets, the rings are a sign of bond and trust. Traditionally it's a symbol of "You belong to me and I belong to you".

I actually got married at age 27, my husband was 30. It was one of those things that we just wanted to do because we thought "he or she is the one person I'd like to be with for the rest of my life". But! It is true that you'll never know a person until you're married. Everything from there changes in a few months time. Don't get me wrong. It's not disillusionment. It's the realization and the acceptance that you'll feel emotionally secure and fullfilled but it's still and emotional rollercoaster. It's exciting and you hold on to the seats as the rollercoaster moves away, turning sideways and whipping your head out in the air. Then it goes up to a steep climb and you feel all nervous, it suddenly goes falling down the tracks. You scream your head out and you feel like being thrown out of the seat or you just want to get out pronto. Sometimes you climb out and find yourself puking like a drunk. Or it was all fun, especially if you're with that person you love and he's holding your hand. You know you're okay because he's there.

Sometimes things don't turn out the way you want it to be. You become an emotional wreck. You hold on to every inch of life from your body. Then you do something different for a change. You change your hair, your lifestyle, you make yourself exciting not for anyone but for yourself. And suddenly things start falling into place. It does sound easy but not in reality.

It is difficult to let go of something with the fear of losing it. But as you cling too much you lose yourself in the process. It's a cliche, but in order to give it you've got to have it. Otherwise you end up with nothing.

It's a general rule to everyone. It's what Whitney Houston says the greatest love of all. If you're brave it enough go jump in and take the ride.

Sick Sick Sick

Literally. Been sick since December. Just like a corny relationship... my contagious coughing would go on and off. Diagnosis? Bronchitis, rhinitis, back to bronchitis, acute allergic rhinitis, upper respiratory tract infection, with viral complications. Which means... I've been jumping from mucolytics, expectorants, antihestamines, phenylpropanolamine, and all sorts of antibiotics.... then steroids, bitter dirt tasting steroids. To be honest, I don't think I have strong lungs. This makes me me highly vulnerable to viral diseases and throat or lung infections. And really... I have never coughed this way before. It almost sounded like tubercuosis. I was cleared from TB though and even from a lung infection. I tried eating yummy pasta.. but again,,thanks to the kidney basin I was relieved for about 1410 minutes. hahaha.

The Waiting Game

I don't want to hear Corrine Drewery singing "If you should ever change your mind. I'd be here just call my name.." Somebody just kill me please. I'd probably sing "I don't wanna wait in vain...for your love"...

Waiting is just not my thing. I do it, everybody does and is just an inevitable part of reality and circumstances. Yes we wait 2 hours for a job interview. Why? we babdly need it. We wait for our kids in school. Who else would wait? We wait for our turn to pay at the cashier, we have no choice. We wait and wait and wait.

I never understood why my friends say, "I'm so patient with things". I have the patience to wait. I'm not and I don't really have it. Sometimes I fell like I'm just sitting duck, waiting to be shot by a guiltless hunter. Sometimes it's a stupid thing called sacrifice but oftentimes, I'm put in that predicament where there isn't much choice left.

Many times I've been thru that state where I felt like boiling over and throwing the table out the window. My eyes turn fiery red and an infinite line of curses and obsceneties roll out my mouth for an hour or so. Then it dies down suddenly.

Then let's turn to the other side of the fence. Why do people make us wait? Where's the concern? Where's the consideration? It's simple arithmetic to say, waiting + miserable state = sorry existense... A slap reaction for, "you are taken for granted". No concern, no care, not-on-priority-list kind of thing. The cashier will make you wait while chatting with a sales clerk, who cares? Tolerate it or leave the items on the cart. You wait for your guy to come home, even with your endless nags on the phone, he never does. Like anything, it becomes a curse if you don't work to break it. I have some simple solutions though to break off the cycle.

1. Buy your own car or worse have the cab company number ready...
2. Curse and call the manager.
3. Leave and make time for yourself.
4. Spend a day lounging around and dozing off without any time constraints.